After approximately a full pot of coffee, a half a cup of hot chocolate, and a few almonds thrown in for good measure, I mustered the courage to visit Walmart. Desperate times call for desperate measures. You see Walmart – of all places – is the only store I’ve been able to purchase Curly Sexy Hair without ordering online. Since I’m not so very fond of shipping fees nor Walmart, I tend to try new products ad nauseam. Typically, said products make my hair too smooth and limp or it looks something akin to this …
Yowza!
I don’t think I need to tell you, this is bad. Very bad indeed – even for a writer. So, when I can take it no more, I trek to Walmart.
Such was the case today. Only when I reached the hair care aisle, Straight Sexy Hair had replaced Curly Sexy Hair. Apparently you can’t get away with curly hair even in Walmart.
*sigh*
It’s a sad day my friends, a sad day …
Wee Birdy of London told me about these mugs by Frerk Mueller…
They’re too, too much! *I do believe I’ve had that look on a few blind dates.* And I’m fairly certain I need them both …
When you flail about, frantically trying to lay waste to a big, black, hairy spider – one that somehow manages to escape your clutches of doom – do mind the hair. Even if there is no open flame, you just never know what might transpire. For instance, you could be sitting there, contemplating life’s quandaries, when you run your fingers through your hair – and get stuck. This, my friends, is never a good sign. It’s especially bad if there’s a solid substance. In your hair.
Granted, you may be a writer; still, you took a shower that very morning! So you sit there, pondering what hair product could have possibly gone so very, very wrong. You jump up to further investigate. That’s when you notice the spot on your shirt … wax, it would appear. You look down at the only candle lit that morning. How could it have lept up on your shirt and toward the back of your head? Did you hold the candle and spaz? Was there an earthquake? Were you abuducted by aliens and didn’t know it?
Only later … when you happen to notice the odd trail of drippings around the wax burner … will you put two-and-two together. If only you had wrangled that hair better. If only you would have paid closer attention, your hair would have never been tempted to take a nice dip in pool of wax. You could have saved your self mental anguish trying to figure it all out. You could have actually spent the hour doing something productive.
It’s a cautionary tale my friends, a cautionary tale. Do pay heed.
Good Monday greetings to you! And how was that weekend of yours? Mine was an extension of the week – fairly unproductive. So I decided to finish it off with the Oscars. Now I haven’t watched the Oscars for years – a decade, at least. It just got too gaudy and annoying for my taste, so I dropped it. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. So without further ado, my thoughts on the 82nd Annual Academy Awards:
- George Clooney, apparently, has become a grumpy old man - when did this happen?! I don’t know … but if looks could kill, we’d be paying tribute to Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin this morning. Instead, George Clooney just looked like an *bleep* … and he did not appear to be joking. I do not know the story, my friends – usually he seems nothing short of a gentleman … a nut … a good sport. So if it was all part of the show, I didn’t get it. But I’ll tell you one thing, if he truly was Mr. Sour Pants – and I was his girlfriend - I’d be saying, “Simmer in your ugly disposition; I’m going to change seats with one of those nose-bleeders up there … “ And that is one of many, many reason I’ve never been, nor will I ever be, George Clooney’s girlfriend. Moving right along …
- Speaking of Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin I think they did a good job hosting together; I may not have laughed ’til I cried, but I chuckled, and that’s always good;
- Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr’s clever repartee on screenwriter vs. actor was awesome – they part me asunder;
- The clips from Lauren Becall’s acceptance speech for her Lifetime Achievement Award were classic – loved it;
- Farrah Fawcett was oddly and quite noticeably absent from the “In Memoriam” mantage – of all the people they could forget, she seems like a hard one. Weird;
- Loved the 80’s flashback with actors/actresses who starred in our favorite John Hughes films paying tribute to the director;
- The clip from “Twilight” in the horror movie mantage made me snicker;
- Movie trailers make commercials much more easy to digest – especially if they are different each time around – so, thankful for that;
- Whoever was in charge of putting this show together deserves a raise. It was entertaining, it didn’t drag on; it had a hint of glamour, but it wasn’t over the top. Yes, there may have been some hiccups (what event goes without?) but all in all, it was very well done.
Of course, there were many a gorgeous gown – and I didn’t notice any that were truly horrifying. It was almost – just almost – like a glimpse at old Hollywood glamour. And what’s not to love about that?!
My friend Kim and her four kids went out “Auntie” Amy yesterday. The auntie who obviously has no children of her own – who couldn’t figure out the dadgum carseat belt, covered eyes each time a hat went on, ran into displays with the cart, checked the 8-Ball to see if things are going to look up (yes, most definitely). Still, they were good sports - even Kim, when the conversation of her 3-year-old turned into something like this:
Logan: Mom, when I have a purse …
Kim: Boys don’t have purses.
Me: Unless you move to Europe, then you might have a man purse.
Logan: So, when I have my man purse …
Kim and me (in unison): Oh my word – he did not just say man purse! *hysterical laughter (which may or may not have been emitting solely from my corner of the van)*
Unfortunately, I cannot tell you what the poor fellow was trying to say. Lord knows he tried to make his point; this, of course, included starting over – and saying “man purse” - multiple times. Eventually his older brothers could take it no longer and yelled, ”It’s a backpack! It’s called a backpack!”
Right, yes, it’s true … a backback … you’ll call it a backpack.
As long as he remembers that last bit, we’ll be fine. Pretty sure.
