Magpie and Muttonfly

I was perusing the ads – not because I have money to spare, mind you; but simply because I feel intense pleasure from looking – from deciding what I would buy, if I did, indeed, have the money to buy it.  So, perusing ads … I come across a bra that boasts 62-different ways to wear it.  Sixty-two, my friends.  Now, admittedly, I do not get out much – but still, sixty-two ways to wear a bra?!   Normal, racerback, halter, strapless, one shoulder, the other, front crisscross, back crisscross, backless, plugging neckline … hat?  Earmuffs?  I’m at a loss!  Even if you do know the plethora of options, you probably need a detailed user’s guide to get ‘er done.  Like getting ready in the morning isn’t hard enough?  Obviously, I’ll be sticking with the less-advanced options – money, or no.  The other is just too … scary.