Magpie and Muttonfly

To all you single boys out there … a helpful hint: 

If you happen to catch a glimpse of a woman – out minding her own business, washing her car – and you feel compelled to stop and strike up a conversation, do not - I repeat -  DO NOT say anything to the effect of ”wanna wash mine next?”  I know it will be tempting , but here’s the thing:  you may think you’re being clever, but she’s heard it before – more than likely in the last twenty minutes.  If you really want to impress her, say something like “I’ve got some bad-ass car-washing skills, interested in seeing them in action?”  Girls like skills.  And if you’re overly concerned that she might actually take you up on the offer, just keep on a goin’ … trust me … it’s for the best …