I keep receiving emails with one of two questions: how are the edits coming along and what’s the progress on the bathroom remodel? I’m currently working my way through the hard copy with my edits. It’s a bit more tricky than usual. Take now, for instance - at the moment the floor guy has taken a reprieve, the tile guy is out in the hallway asking me when I’m planning to change out the tile in the kitchen, and the plumber is sitting on our toilet – currently residing in our bathtub - attaching the trim.
But you do know what this all means don’t you? I’ll get to take a shower tomorrow. Woot! We can all be thankful, I’m sure …
This week marked the start of our bathroom remodel. Our one and only bathroom I might add. Since Monday afternoon, it has looked something like this:
It’s not a complete overhaul, mind you. We had fully anticipated the tile and flooring to be finished by the end of the week. But, true to form, there were issues. It started with the fact that the idiots who initially owned this home placed the tile directly on the sheetrock (ere go the nice layer of mold it’s sporting). This means more time airing out, cleaning out, and cementing. The perk: it made it easy for the plummer who had to come in and switch our water valve. Yes, at one point we actually had the plumber and the tile guy – in that wee space – at the same time.
Yesterday we received the great news that the accent tile that was suppose to arrive Tuesday, would not make it in until Friday. This means for at least two more days, this will be our shower …
And this, our bath …
Let’s all say it together: good times. At least we still have our toilet. No peeing in a bucket or digging a hole in the backyard. Granted, I may feel the need to be armed – just in case a creepy-crawler emerges from one of the crevaces; still, I can flush. It is, afterall, the little things …
To all you single boys out there … a helpful hint:
If you happen to catch a glimpse of a woman – out minding her own business, washing her car – and you feel compelled to stop and strike up a conversation, do not - I repeat - DO NOT say anything to the effect of ”wanna wash mine next?” I know it will be tempting , but here’s the thing: you may think you’re being clever, but she’s heard it before – more than likely in the last twenty minutes. If you really want to impress her, say something like “I’ve got some bad-ass car-washing skills, interested in seeing them in action?” Girls like skills. And if you’re overly concerned that she might actually take you up on the offer, just keep on a goin’ … trust me … it’s for the best …
Each year the girls of the fam are invited over to party all weekend; it’s our Mother’s Day Extravaganza. It typically begins with dinner on Friday evening and ends with brunch on Sunday morning. This year my two aunts, my cousin, and his family joined in the festivities. Here are a few random thoughts from our time together …
Photo ops. If there’s one thing a member of our family learns at a young age, it’s how to get accustomed to any number of cameras in your face at any given time. Flashes going off every which way is just par for the course. The Paparazzi’s got nothin’ on us. Action shots, portraits, nut-ball poses, we’ve got ‘em all. Sometimes that’s all we’ve got. So, what’d you do over the weekend? We partook in miscellaneous photo ops – and you? The upside: We can revisit our family … we can relive the laughter … anytime we wish. It’s enough to make the momentary blindness worth it.
Sweet lovin’s. My cousin’s little girl is one and a half. And cuter than ever. Seriously. She’s so cute you can’t even stand it. She’s also a little lady on the go. Still, she managed to take time out of her busy roadmap-to-discovery to give me some sweet lovin’s. When she walked up to me and held out her hands to be picked up; and then, once up, put her head on my chest, I melted. Just like butta. Suddenly I understood how parents might be tempted to spoil their children absolutely rotten. Because if she could talk in complete sentences – and happened to ask for a car at that precise moment – I would have said, “here, take mine.” Pretty sure.
Heart of thankfulness. You know, life has a funny way of not-at-all turning out as you had planned. Yet is still manages to shine. Much like the song suggests, God likes to bless the broken road. As I sat there yesterday morning, looking at the faces before me, I realized how each mother at that table has had her share of sorrow and disappointment. But they’ve kept going; they’ve also kept each other. And I realized my heart was full to overflowing with thankfulness. I was thankful to have a mom – and be surrounded by moms – who were stronger than they’ll ever realize. They taught me that it’s okay to cry – as long as the tears turn to laughter evetually. They taught me how to create and cherish memories. They taught me that they’ve got my back – and that I need to carry on the tradition. They taught me that yes, life may not be perfect – but it can be beautiful all the same.
There’s a slight possibility the neighbors across the way moved in for the sole purpose of testing my patience. Thankfully, their respective annoyances are solo; they do not typically join in chorus. Except for last night. Last night, when I was frantically trying to finish editing; last night, when I desperately needed peace and quiet, they all joined in…
Neighbor #2: I refer to him as neighbor #2 since he abides in the in the middle house. I’m not really sure what the story is, but someone in that household rides a motorcycle, in circles, in the backyard. Round-and-around-and-around for hours at a time. There really isn’t a strong enough word for just how annoying this is; the only reason I have not personally gone over there and hurt the individual is because I keep telling myself he must be autistic or something. Autistic and the regular looping motion is the ONLY thing that can calm his nerves. I mean really. What other explanation could there possibly be? It certainly couldn’t be to get on my last and final nerve. Right?! So off he went last night – Va-a-ROO-oom; va-a-ROO-oom; va-a-ROO-oom …
Neighbor #1: The neighbor to the left of #2 – herein referred to as Neighbor #1 – has a hound dog. Now, Neighbor #1 has apparently left for an excursion of one sort or another, which means his poor pups is even more distraught than usual. And, as hound dogs do, he likes to share his misery. Much like he did last night. After approximately five rounds of the motorcycle, he started in – A-ru. A-ru. A-ru-ru-u-u; A-ru. A-ru. A-ru-u-u-u; A-ru. A-ru. A-ru-u-u-u …
Neighbor #3: Neighbor #3 is the only one I have ever actually met. Our conversation didn’t last long; apparently he couldn’t hear a thing I said unless I yelled it. And I’ll tell you why: he likes to share his music with anyone within a five mile radius. Or, maybe he’s just trying to drown out Neighbors 1 & 2. There’s no way of knowing. What I do know, however, is that he pumped up the volume not long after the hound started belting his tune – Bada-dada-da-da; Bada-dada-da-da; Bada-dada-da-da…
Now if I thought one was bad, all three – together – is positively dreadful. Bada-dada-da-da – A-ru. A-ru. - Bada-dada-da-da – va-a-ROO – Bada-dada-da-da -va-ru-u-u … After about an hour I began to mull my options – all of which probably would have landed me in jail. And let’s be serious – I don’t have the time for that! So I did the only thing left to do; I flung my editing to the ground, curled up in a ball, and put a pillow over my head.
We can only hope all’s quiet on the home-front tonight.
