ust when all seems well on your jaunt downtown–when you’re meandering along, minding your own business–that’s the very time you must be particularly vigilant. Especially if the wind kicks up. Let your guard down for one moment and who knows the tomfoolery that may ensue. You may be sucking on a mint, for instance, when a fellow walking the opposite direction smiles; fully intending to return the smile, you’ll open your mouth ever so slightly . . . and projectile spit. The wind will take that spit, and propel it upward and outward, like the Apollo fountain of Versailles. A sight to behold, for certain. And just when you’re trying to figure if you’re aghast or amazed, that’s about the time a gust will blow it back into your face, thus rendering you momentarily blind.
And let’s be serious, it’s hard to recover any semblance of decorum from that point forward.
So do take heed . . .