A few nights ago I had a dream. Of all the dreams I’ve dreamt, this one’s bound to be on the bestseller list one day. Oh yeah, pretty sure …

Once upon a time there lived a Princess. As with most stories that begin thus, the Princess was in love with a certain Prince. This Prince was gallant and charming, witty and debonair. He rode thoroughbred horses and read fine books in his magnificent library. He loved adventure; he loved his friends and his family; and, above all, he loved the Princess.

One day–quite out of the blue–he knelt down on one knee and asked the Princess to marry him, to be his bride, to share in all the wealth of the kingdom.

The Princess considered the proposal. She considered all she would gain, and all she would be forced to abandon.

“Dear Prince,” she said. “You know I love you with all my  heart. But there are places to explore and adventures to be had–I’m afraid I cannot accept this honor you’ve bestowed upon me.”

With that, the Prince went his way, the Princess went hers. Time passed. Yet every land the Princess explored, each art learned, the Princess longed to share it with the Prince. So she set back toward the royal kingdom.

When she returned, however, it was not at all as she had left it. Mainly, when she left, there had been no latitudinous, one-eyed, fire-breathing head bearing down upon the inhabitants of the fair land.

Obviously–and for good reason–the people were panicked. Even the armed guards had lost all hope.

“You must do something,” the Princess said. But alas, they could do nothing but stare, stricken.

The Princess stomped her foot and shook her finger at the beast. “Shame on you; you mean old, repugnant monster,” she said. The beast turned its gigantic head her direction and glared. She picked up a stone and launched it–hitting it straight between the eyes. Its eyes rolled back, its tongue rolled to the side, and down it went in a big puff of smoke.

Cheers erupted from the crowd.

“Oh Princess,” said the gatekeeper, “we paid all our gold pieces to dragon-slayers, promising to rid us of this menace. But they took our money and ran. However can we repay you for what you’ve done?”

“Well,” said the Princess thoughtfully, “I’ll take a cupcake–and the hand of the Prince.”

The Prince paid no mind that he came second to a cupcake; and the Princess, though she loved the creamy goodness of the village cupcake {they were famous throughout the land, you know}, she loved her Prince all the more. It was true love.

So it was–despite the required alotment of hardship–they lived quite happily, ever after.

THE END