My cousin Jen married her High School sweetheart last Saturday. It was a lovely wedding, filled with white twinkling lights, tulle, and red rose petals. Her sister sang, her father performed the ceremony and almost – just almost – made it through without choking up. His baby girl was getting married.

The evening was a blur of hugs and camera flashes. True to form on my father’s side, family members surrounded us one minute, the next, they were gone – a fine example of exit en masse. Then there were two, said my mom.   

With that, the only thing left to do was head for the dessert table. On the way we greeted my great uncle. He looked at us, blinked, and said, Oh, I didn’t recognize you. You see, the last time he saw my mom at a wedding he chortled and said, We’re all getting older aren’t we… Therefore, this opening line was my cue to exit. Without so much as a ‘how are things’ I turned on the balls of my feet and walked away, quickly, before he had time to utter, We’re all getting fatter aren’t we …

Of course, by the time we made it to the food, three grapes and an apple wedge were all that remained for the chocolate fountain; but there, at the end of the table, were three cupcakes waiting just for us. Mmmm… cupcakes …

My favorite part of the evening, however, was the Father/daughter dance. I have a soft spot for father/daughter dances; there’s nothing quite so precious as a girl dancing with the first man she ever loved. But this one was special. You see, a great deal of the people present were at one time or another Assemblies of God – that may be Holy Roller to you. Dancing, in the Assemblies of God, is wrong … so very, very wrong. If you want to take the fast track to hell, drink wine – add dancing to the mix and you might as well grow red horns right then and there because it will happen. Oh yes, my friends, dancing is just that bad.

Yet they danced all the same. First the bride and her dad; then slowly, father-and-daughter by father-and-daughter, others joined in. They were young and old, practiced and not-so-much. Some didn’t build up the nerve until the very end, but they did it. They may have bumbled about, not having a clue what they were doing, but their daughters didn’t care.

As I sat there watching them dance I knew if Jesus had been sitting there, in person, He would be smiling too. His first miracle, after all, was turning water into wine at a wedding. Some try to explain that away as well – he wasn’t yet matured, wine was the only safe beverage to drink. But I think it was something more. I think He knew the key – holiness is available for the taking in good times and  in bad, in religious acts and everyday. Yes, we most often see it in prayer and fasting, in worship and outreach. But if we pay attention, we’re just as likely to catch a glimpse of holiness on a dance floor, filled with the purest of love, and the sweetest of laughter.

I dreamt about my grampa last night.  I guess it’s only fitting, being memorial day weekend and all.  He died in 1992 and I still miss him.  He was the type of person who would go back and tell the chef, or cook, that he loved the meal.  He was big on family.  He was always behind a camera or camcorder, making memories; we were always in front, shooing him way.  He made his own wine; some of which was really, really bad.  He’d just shrug and laugh and try again the next year.   He was a nutter – much to the exasperation of my grandma at times.  But we still relive some of his better schticks; and it still makes us roar with laughter.  He was a gentleman.  He did not believe in crossing lines, taking over, or pretending to know it all.  I still remember him sitting me down – not long before he died – and telling me, for my sake, to forgive my father.  That he believed I would, in my own time.   He didn’t scold, or talk down.  He was a hard worker.  While many of us would rejoice in any reason to get out of work, he continued even when cancer had taken over.  He worked until he simply could not work any longer.    He touched lives with the concern in those baby blues, with that ornery smile, with that quiet dignity.

Often times I think it highly unfair he was taken so soon.   He never got to know the spouses of his grandkids; he never got to know his great-grands – including the one who is  his splitting image or the one named in his honor.   Nor will they get to know him. 

And then it hits me.  It’s up to to those of us who did know him, to be a mirror.  

Maybe that’s what memorial day is all about.  Thinking of all those who have come into our lives and left a footprint that will never fade.  We know the traits that have touched our own lives.  What better memorial than turning around and passing them on …