Dear well-meaning friends, friends of friends, and complete-and-total strangers:
Thank you for your concern over us single people wandering aimlessly about. I’m sure when you set out to set us up, you hope we’ll find the happiness you’ve discovered, and not – as it might appear – misery.
Perhaps a few guidelines …
- Strive for common ground (and profuse apologies, but the fact that we’re both old and single doesn’t count);
- If we’re friends, and you would never – in a million years – date the guy if you were single, do not try to set him up with me;
- Telling me things like, “You only notice he sounds gay when he’s around other men” will not help;
- Someone who can carry on a full, two-sided conversation is good. Trying to think up topics that may garner more than a one-word reply hurts my head. And let’s be serious, constant headaches are not appreciated by either party;
- Humor is a requirement, not an option. Period.
Sure, I’m an odd assortment of strange-contradictions. And I realize, it may be nigh-on impossible for you to find a guy who meets the above criteria. In which case, so be it …
P.S. – I must admit that I’m a bit concerned with the multiple photos … of cats … that were apparently downloaded from my camera last October … and yet I have no recollection. None. Whatsoever. Perhaps I’m further along on the crazy-cat-lady track than I originally thought …