The Villain
So, I’m at the store the other day when the following DVD catches my eye …
No joke! This is a real-life, honest-to-goodness movie from 1979. Who knew? Not I, apparently. Now that I do know, however, I must say that cover is some good times. I mean really … “The Villain” … they may be smiling on the outside, but one is low-down-and-dirty on the inside. Chances are this film is nothing but cornball … and yet, I think I must. I can’t help it. It’s drawing me in. Must. See. The Villain. Now would probably be a good time. After all, some movies are so much better when you’re either deliriously tired or, you know, on some kind of medication …
Blasted germs
The evil germs that have been infiltrating this city for months now, finally took me down. And to think I felt capable of avoiding such catastrophe. After all, I remained stoic, while friends and family dropped like flies.
I must admit, I wondered; one day they would mention a cold, the next thing I knew they were out of circulation for days. What kind of cold takes you out for days? Well now I know – the kind that obviously signed a pact with the devil, that’s what kind.
I’ll spare you the details because, let’s be serious, no one really cares. But to give you an idea of how bad it got – Friday I was folding clothes when I heard the ice cream truck drive by. I burst into tears. Yeah, I don’t know either …
On a bright note – there is a plus to being a light-weight. I can’t sleep on my own accord in this dreadful state. So I hauled out a Smirnoff sample. That one 50 ml Smirnoff Green Apple Twist lasted two nights. 4 swigs – just a little num-num – was all I needed to sleep for hours. It was a beautiful thing. Sigh.
Now, if only I can have a miraculous recovery by tomorrow. If not, jury duty’s going to be even more fun than usual. For me and everyone around me …
A slave to fashion
Here is a good example of why I will never be considered a Fashion Diva:
I do not look at the above sandal and think fashion. I look at it and think, “What in the hell is it?!!!” A medieval torture device? Summer footwear for the Roman Legion? The mere thought of putting that on my foot gives me the creeps. I get claustrophobia just looking at it. I mean really, isn’t the whole point of a sandal to give your foot some breathing room? Why – oh why – would you want to shackle your foot in up to your knee? It gives whole new meaning to the phrase, a slave to fashion …
OK, NS!
We think we’re all cool with our texting abbreviations – like we made it all up or something. Well, let me just tell ya, it’s KY; that’s know yuse to you – or, you know, no use.
Comical abbreviations were a fad that began in Boston, 1838, and moved to New York and New Orleans the following year. Some of the abbreviations were straight forward: GT (gone to Texas) or SP (small potatoes). Others took the lead of humorists of the day, using exaggerated misspellings: OW (oll wright) or KG (know go).
While most of these abbreviations barely survived a generation, there is one infamous exception. OK was first printed in Boston’s Morning Post March 23, 1839. Sure, we may have forgotten what the abbreviation stands for (oll korrect), but we understand the meaning all the same.
So you see quirky abbreviations are nothing new; it’s their usage that has changed. I guess you could say the main difference between the two is that our texting abbreviations are an offshoot of laziness; the abbreviations of yesterday – an offshoot of wit.
And with that, NS (nuff said).
Note: There are many stories concerning the origins of “OK” – most can be refuted. The information, above, was included in a series of articles by Columbia University professor, Allen Walker Read, published in the American Speech journal in 1963 and 1964. Professor Read’s research seems to have passed the test of time.